Setting boundaries can feel daunting, especially if we don’t want to hurt anyone. However, it’s critical to understand and accept that when you put yourself first, you inadvertently step up your game.
It may seem like you’re hurting the people you love by setting boundaries, but sooner rather than later, you’ll realize the ones who seek internal validation rather than external will respect you for it and provide you the space you want to feel comfortable with yourself and around others.
Before we jump into why setting boundaries with every person in your life is important, let’s look at what we really mean when we speak about boundaries.
The Concept of Boundaries
The Wellness Center at the University of Illinois Chicago regards boundaries as an intangible line that clarifies what attitudes and behaviors are justifiable for anyone. Boundaries can be about anything concerning you, from your physical space to an emotional intervention to overstepping your mental space.
UHS at Berkeley discusses the concept of personal boundaries as limitations and restrictions that we establish for ourselves and others to follow that revolves around our relationships. This means saying ‘no’ when you’re uncomfortable and refusing to share any aspect of your life if you don’t feel like that.
Boundaries help us feel less threatened about our self-esteem and help promote self-respect. It motivates the idea of self-love, considering how this is a self-care act in itself.
Boundaries can be established with your partner, family, friends, co-workers, bosses, or anyone you interact with.
Why Is It Important to Set Boundaries?
Setting boundaries is not just a step up in the self-care regimen but also a healthy way to maintain the relationships in your life. The University of Chicago Illinois’ Wellness Center By setting boundaries, you verbally let the people in your life be aware of what they should and should not do. It helps them understand you better and what you are comfortable with.
By establishing boundaries, you look after yourself and ensure that you have taken measures to feel safe and secure. This helps eliminate chances of being invalidated or disrespected.
WebMD discusses how healthy boundaries can have a positive impact on you. Following are some factors that may encourage you to set boundaries in places where you feel the need to practice this implementation:
- You develop a stronger sense of identity
- You build your self-esteem
- The chance to learn more about yourself
- Establish a safe space for yourself
How Can I Set Boundaries?
Setting Boundaries does not mean you’re hurting someone or letting them know you don’t want them around. It’s simply a guide to ensure that you and the concerned individual(s) feel safe in the relationship. This also means you must come to terms with the boundaries people set.
PsychCentral suggests setting boundaries by saying no when you don’t want to agree to something. This also means you would have to accept when you are told ‘no.’ You can also communicate what you’re comfortable with and what you wouldn’t want your partner to overstep on.
The Dividing Line
Dr. Tara Quinn-Cirillo, a UK-based psychologist, mentions personal boundaries as a medium to differentiate your feelings from someone else’s. As humans, our thoughts, experiences, and memories can blur the line with someone else’s. Boundaries help clear the smog.
When you know what you want, what you’re here for, you get on the path to becoming a master of what you want. You’re more in tune with what you want, and accomplishing and manifesting what you’re really in it for.
Set boundaries with people who overstep and make you feel less about yourself by focusing on your strength to inspire and create.
Remember: put yourself first.
Appendix
- Image Source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/no-to-boundaries-12684794/
- Mind Tools: https://www.mindtools.com/a5eygum/what-are-your-values
- Wellness Center at The University of Illinois Chicago: https://wellnesscenter.uic.edu/news-stories/boundaries-what-are-they-and-how-to-create-them/
- UHS at Berkeley: https://uhs.berkeley.edu/sites/default/files/relationships_personal_boundaries.pdf
- WebMD: https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/setting-boundaries
- Psych Central: https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries#types
- Ana Castano: YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYEqI0eppNY
