Ana B Castano

Ana B Castano

How Do I Evaluate What I Want in a Relationship?

Sofa Chair and a Table

How Do I Evaluate What I Want in a Relationship?

Ah! This is a tough cookie to crack. Knowing what you want in a relationship is a question you’ll be asking yourself by the end of every old relationship and the start of any new relationship. Although, we must sneak in some facts and advice professionals provide here.

First, it’s vital to inspect what you want from a romantic relationship; what needs and wants are you expecting your partner to fulfill? Are they realistic expectations? Do you also contribute as much as you expect your partner to pitch in? Whether it’s a woman looking for a constructive personality in a man or a man looking for one in another, it could be a multitude of factors that weigh in on the specific wants and needs of a certain man or woman.

What Do I Want From A Relationship?

The best answer to this question would come after you divert focus from evaluating what you want to assess the qualities you want in your partner. Once you have the answers, you’ll be better able to evaluate what you want from your partner. Let’s look at some important qualities your partner should have:

  1. Ability to Communicate

Psych Alive discusses the importance of openness in a relationship. When your partner is not willing to listen and is unwilling to bring about change, it can be tough to allow growth to enter the room. This unwillingness stems from a lack of desire to communicate needs or allow space for progress to take place. Men prefer communication with their partners. Some men are more feminine in their relationships, so they prefer characteristics that they don’t have.

  1. Independence

Once individuals enter a relationship, they consider themselves as ‘two bodies, one soul.’ That can be taxing over some time because if you two do not invest in your personalities, you will start relying on each other for everything. If one of those needs is not met, disappointment and resentment may begin to stem.

Men in relationships with other men prefer security. The question is: are you a soft man in a relationship or a hard man? If you’re a soft man, you would prefer someone with authority and dominance.

If you’re a hard man, you would prefer someone who submits. In bed, a hard man would want to be the big spoon, and a soft man would prefer to be a soft spoon. An understanding of what you want to be in a relationship helps attain security and peace and fulfills the needs and wants of a relationship.

Understand Yourself as An Individual First

Changes are great; changes are powerful. Don’t ever be afraid of change. It will help you understand yourself as an individual. Changes are great opportunities to bring excitement and new experiences into our lives. Adapting to something new is an example of putting different color palettes together and gelling them within the ones we already have, and recreating our masterpiece.

When you appreciate what you have and embrace what’s new, you learn and explore from others to fulfill your plans and dreams.

Before you inspect what you want from a man in a relationship, you must study who you are, including your interests, needs, and wants. When you fill your glass of water, you will be more confident and secure in your relationship.

Recognizing your core values will help you align your interests with someone you meet. Developing an interest in them would be healthy if they align with your values. If their values threaten your value system, you automatically know it’s a deep pit you don’t want to fall into.

We should fall in love, but rather rise in love.

Conclusively: Talk to Your Prospective Partner

If you feel you like someone and you potentially see a future with them, the best move you can make is to communicate with them. Discuss healthy boundaries and deal-breakers. You don’t necessarily have to be rude to them. You could state what’s important to you and the values you will not bend on.

This conversation alone will help you evaluate what you want in a guy and if you feel they are the one for you. You evaluate your values first, then examine whether your prospective partner can align with those. The ball is always in your court.


  1. Image Source:
  2. Psych Alive:
  3. Ana Castano: YouTube channel

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *