Ana B Castano

Ana B Castano

How To Know What You Want and What You Don’t Want?

Four Rocks Formation

How To Know What You Want and What You Don’t Want?

Ah! The lifelong question that alters for us more often than we’d like it to. Don’t be too hard on yourself, though. As you evolve into the best version of yourself, your priorities will begin to differ, and you will find yourself wanting different things at each stage.

To ensure that you have some direction while figuring out what you’d like from your partner, a few base elements can help you understand yourself better and, in effect, recognize what you’re surely looking for.

How Do I Find Out What I Want?

According to MindTools, our values are the most important factor to weigh in. By definition, values are the principles we hold dear to ourselves, which allow us to walk a certain path and lead a more certain life. These values help give us direction and play a compelling role in defining the kind of person we choose to be.

Our values significantly impact the relationships we establish with not just our friends and family but beyond that. When choosing a partner, our values help us decide what we’re looking for because of the awareness that our partner contributes greatly to our life and the kind we want to lead. Betterup notes this awareness helps put in place a healthy life because as different as your partner may be, if your values align with each other’s, there will be reduced conflicts.

I know that experience has given me more strength. It’s made me powerful. The beauty of everything remains in the proper moment that it is. Empower yourself with the now – embrace the place and the moment in which you’re living now.

What’s The Process?

This process requires thorough honesty and critical introspection.

If you feel your prospective partner is not someone who aligns with your core values, try digging deep into your future prospects to see if you’d be comfortable with that.

It is essential to know that compromising one value to fulfill another can be detrimental to your emotional health.

Having Conversations with Your Partner

Having real conversations based on values, conflicts, and commitment styles with your partner is a good way to read your partner and how they handle difficult yet paramount conversations.

Very Well Mind discusses some core values that you should discuss with your potential partner. Such conversations will help you understand and conclude what you want, what you don’t want, and what you can adjust to. By doing so, you won’t just be taking a step up in your relationship growth but also figuring yourself out further.

Some of these core values are:

  • Faith
  • Family
  • Lifestyle
  • Sexual Needs


Many factors contribute greatly to you deciding what you want or don’t from your partner, but your values will always stay true to you. Using those as a guiding light will help you clear the air in the room.

WebMD discusses five techniques that will help you conclude. They are understanding your emotional needs, identifying your love language, understanding your core values, experiencing a potential relationship to discover your path, and, once you start dating, evaluating your relationship per three months.

In the end, always trust your intuition.


  1. Image Source:
  2. MindTools:
  3. Betterup:
  4. Very Well Mind:
  5. WebMD:

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