“You know, it’s funny; when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.”
-Wanda Pierce, the Owl; Bojack Horseman
If un-noticed red flags aren’t the most hair-raising aspect of any relationship, then what are they? When we like someone, we tend to ignore red flags on the go. That’s okay, don’t feel bad about it. Relationships are always a learning process!
Since you’re now on our blog, you’re in luck! We’ll discuss red flags, why we tend not to see them, and even when we do, we avoid them, and how to spot one from miles away.
What Are Red Flags?
Red flags in relationships refer to warning signs highlighting unhealthy behavior that led to toxicity and abuse. Betterup notes this behavior is deceptive and not distinguished initially.
According to a licensed clinical social worker in Florida, Jennifer Kelman, our intuition can tell us that something is not right about our relationship, but we don’t pay attention to what it says because, internally, we want to believe something else.
Basic Red Flags We May Flag Off
There are red flags that we may shrug off in relationships because our partner also showers us with love. In front of the smothering, the red flags begin to phase out. However, that’s where it starts, so it’s essential to learn the art of spotting them from miles away. It’s not that hard to get there. Once you recognize what red flags are, you’ll find yourself in a much more secure place.
Forbes Health discusses these red flags. They can range in various spectrums, but the most common noting elements are:
- Manipulative behavior
Some red flags with reference to partners are:
- Do they want to spend all their time with you? This can lead to distancing you from other people in your life who contribute to your stability and maybe your voice of reason.
- Controlling: Is your partner depicting controlling behavior? There are chances one may confuse this as love, but if controlling behavior is left to itself, it can compound into physical or verbal abuse.
- Do they dismiss you in front of them or your friends or family?
- Do they restrict affection as a form of punishment?
- Take notes on the respect factor: everything boils down to treatment.
- Do they make attempts to change you?
- During a conflict, do you sense disrespect? Do they call you names such as idiot or foolish?
Most importantly, it is essential to introspect your relationship on one of the most important factors: Do they gaslight you?
Understanding what contributes to a healthy relationship will better your understanding of red flags and how to observe behavior before concluding the type of person your partner is. Healthline suggests these key values are trust, spending time apart, equality, and balance.
If you want to understand if your partner exhibits red flags more or green flags, observe how they behave when the two of you find yourselves in a conflict.
- Image Source: https://unsplash.com/photos/YgREE-2uo3k
- Betterup: https://www.betterup.com/blog/red-flags-in-a-relationship
- Forbes: https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/relationship-red-flags/
- Science of People: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/red-flags/
- Healthline: https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-relationship#characteristics